Brief Synopsis of the Fiction You Will Read Here

The fiction will dabble in non-fiction and will contain vast amounts of factual research based observations about the world at large by the main character. These factual research based observations will be subtly biased by the opinions of the extremely cynical, sarcastic, and narcissistic main character.

The over-arching theme of the entire work will be the inevitability of death, and the inherent parasitic and evil nature of cats. The novel will demonstrate a wealth of knowledge on female mental instability, but it will not acknowledge any lack of mental stability in the male of the species. The main character will be an avid lyricist and will engage in poetic illustration at length during several chapters. The main character will be a racist hypocrite with absolutely no taste for the finer things in life. The poetry sections will be written as prose, and will not interfere with the flow or the translation of the story.

The tagline will be… A man facing the cold icy grip of marriage and celibacy to a woman who is sure to drain the life out of him. The woman who he couldn’t possibly live without. The woman who will kill him.

There will be entire passages where the narrator discusses individual teenage pop singers at length and their effect on modern culture. Entire sections of the book will be written as Dr. Spooky, who is the alter ego of the main character. Dr Spooky sees ghosts and is a paranormal investigator. The main character will never be mentioned by name nor will he ever infer that he has one. The main character will drive a truck, dumpster dive, deliver a pizza, and will be killed by his crazy ass wife.

Because you and I both know this is how our protagonist dies, there will be no need to address the death at all in the work of fiction.

– TallBoyAlcohol